Behind the Noise: Understanding the Everyday Struggles of OCD

Every day starts the same way—my mind races the moment I wake up. The thoughts come rushing in, sometimes clear, sometimes muddled, but always persistent. From the moment I open my eyes, there's an overwhelming need to check things, make sure everything is "just right," and ensure the world around me is as it should be. It's exhausting. I know it’s irrational, but that doesn’t make it any easier to quiet the noise in my head.

Throughout the day, I find myself stuck in cycles of doubt, replaying scenarios in my mind, checking my phone for messages, rechecking doors or locks—things that should be simple but feel essential to keep my peace of mind. If I don’t do it, I worry something will go wrong. It’s a constant push-pull, where I’m trying to go about my day but feel weighed down by the invisible force that demands I follow these mental rules. I lose time, sometimes hours, feeling trapped in these routines, unable to break free.

People around me might not notice the internal struggle. On the outside, I seem fine—maybe even productive. But inside, my thoughts are racing, demanding attention. I can’t explain the feeling, but it’s like a constant pressure, a knot in my stomach that tightens every time I ignore the need to perform a ritual. There’s a pervasive fear that if I don’t check, or do things in the "right" way, something bad will happen, even though I know it’s not logical.

And that’s where OCD comes in. It’s the name for the struggle I face every single day. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. It’s not just about being overly cautious or a little anxious—it’s about uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts that drive me to perform rituals to ease the anxiety they cause. The compulsions become an effort to neutralize the fear, even though they never truly bring peace. The more I try to resist, the stronger the urge becomes. It’s a cycle that repeats itself, and the more I give in, the deeper the grip it has on me.

Living with OCD is not easy, but it’s something I’ve learned to navigate. Therapy has helped me challenge these thoughts and reduce the compulsions, step by step. It’s not a perfect process, and I still have days where the struggle feels overwhelming. But I’m learning that my thoughts don’t define me, and I don’t have to act on every impulse. Every day is a step forward, and I know that I don’t have to fight this alone.